Probably the greatest scourge on society today is a fear of being fundamentally flawed, a feeling of "not-enoughness." You tell yourself stories of why other people can do /have /feel / be who they are… but you cannot. You believe that these things are not available to you. It is an innate feeling of being less-than, which comes from a place of fear and lack. It feels like a piece of code in your DNA is wrong or there is a "bug" in your software. You try to hide it like a deep dark secret - you are not enough, something inside of you is broken.

This plays out daily through lack of confidence and feeling undeserving. Although you consciously know that you have mastered your area of expertise, you won’t allow yourself to step into that power. That part of you says, "You’re not that good… you’ll never be good enough… they’re doing it, why can’t you?… they’ll realize you’re just faking it."

Success feels unfamiliar. People's trust in you feels unfamiliar. You feel like a fake, which then creates confusion (cognitive dissonance) that must be rectified by retreating to comfort and familiarity – achieving just enough success to keep your head above water, but little more. You’re playing small so that you can fail small.

TO WATCH OUT FOR When you experience success, you will start to question yourself instead of allowing yourself to deserve the joy and rewards. Notice this and interrupt the negativity when it arrives. Avoid comparison, as it is another thief of joy. Know that you are comparing your inner-life to everyone else’s outer-life, and this is not a fair comparison. Fight the urge to retreat to old familiar thoughts, limiting beliefs, and actions. Take a stand for your future and not your past.

TO DO

• Its time to stop telling yourself old stories that do not serve you. It is time to break free from your past.
• Write the words 'I AM ENOUGH' everywhere - on your mirror and your screensaver, use them as your unimportant passwords. Etch these words in your brain.
• Make a list of solid actions that are going to bring you success and do not allow yourself to be dissuaded from them.

This fear speaks to one of our primal survival instincts - avoid rejection by the tribe. Our ancestors would have died if they were abandoned by the tribe, and although we consider ourselves more civilized now, this fear runs deep.

Examine whether there is a part of you that will be disloyal to your past by being successful. Expanding into your full success may require you to leave behind some people from your past. You may have to break your family’s spoken or unspoken rules to achieve your greatest goals. Even if you achieve success, it still may not meet the expectation that your parents had for you.

Some unspoken rules might be:

• Rich people are corrupt
• Money comes hard
• Love hurts
• The world is against you

These beliefs hold you hostage as you struggle between your old stories and new reality, your old tribe who lived by those beliefs and your new one which is beckoning success for you. Your breakthroughs are often followed by bouts of guilt and shame about not meeting others’ expectations for you. These expectations were set out for you since before you were born and have been made known implicitly or explicitly since that day. But you know that this life is a gift, and you have gifts to share. It is your beliefs, decisions and actions that will shape your destiny.

TO WATCH OUT FOR You find you are constantly seeking approval from others, rehearsing conversations in your head before they happen and mulling over them again after the event. You cling tightly to old beliefs and thoughts that connect you to your past, but do not support your future. Although you know you want and need to grow, you feel uncomfortable with breaking away from your past.

TO DO

• Know that people change and relationships change. It is time to own up to relationships that no longer serve you.
• It is time to form new relationships, thoughts and beliefs that are aligned with the person you know you can be.
• Just because someone doesn't understand you doesn’t mean that they can't still love you or care for you.
• Embrace change and changing and try not to assign judgement.
• Affirm 'Not everything can come with me and that is ok.'

This fear comes from wanting to appear non-threatening and empathetic to those around you. This might have manifested early as a child where you found yourself gifted in a particular area. Instead of it being celebrated, you might have found your parents not wanting your siblings to feel bad about themselves or your schoolfriends making you feel different. As children we simply want to belong, to be just like our friends. This is our tribal instinct for survival as part of a group. Ironically as adults we strive to be individuals yet the seeds of conformity planted at a young age serve a valuable purpose in helping us belong.

You value cooperation over competition which is a great asset, but are you doing this through love or fear? If you are doing this out of love you will be stepping into your zone of genius, letting people know that you are the expert and that you are ready to lead. If you are doing this out of fear you will be making excuses for why you are 'not that great' and will start to put potential clients on a pedestal for their efforts rather than helping with results. You’ll use the term 'servant leader' to help you feel comfortable with your power. If you win a prize you minimize it or dedicate it to others. You believe your modesty is a virtue when in fact it is a smokescreen for you not stepping into your full power.

TO WATCH OUT FOR You do your best to deflect attention away from yourself, even while beaming with pride on the inside because you know the work that went into your achievements. You feel uncomfortable taking charge lest anyone accuse you of acting above your station. You minimize complements and don’t let them in. Sometimes haters are going to hate, that is the world we live in – just know that you don’t have to let any of that in. It is not your problem, it is theirs and has very little to do with you. The only opinion of you that matters is your own.

TO DO

• Learn the art of gracefully accepting a complement and acknowledging your own hard work.
• Practice not taking other people’s opinion of you personally – and it is a practice that will get easier over time.
• Don't play out those conversations in your head before they even happen because that’s your story not theirs.
• Know that your rise will be an inspiration to the people that matter, not a threat.
• Affirm that 'I deserve this' and 'My success doesn't take away from others'

This fear speaks to guilt that we carry around about ourselves. Some of this guilt we can assign to cause

• Growing up feeling like a burden on struggling parents
• Being a burden on teachers because you didn't get the lesson
• Being a burden on friends who you assumed were too busy or cool for you but somehow made time for you anyway

These early feelings of guilt can carry over into adulthood. In addition, world religions often have a ubiquitous effect of bestowing guilt.

From childhood onwards, you pick up more of the burden of guilt which then transfers over to the burden of success. If your mere existence is a burden on those around you, surely your success will be an even greater burden. The burdens that success will bring in terms of responsibility and personal freedom start to cloud into your decisions for action. You have thoughts like, "If I am too successful I won’t have time for my family who need me," or , "I would hate to bring all of that attention to my life." You feel overwhelmed thinking about the outcomes that success would bring.

TO WATCH OUT FOR You've felt like a burden, in the past and maybe even today. There are deep seated confidence issues that prevent you from stepping into the light and claiming your birthright of success. You deserve whatever success you are willing to work for. Stop telling future stories of why you shouldn’t have success that are generating guilt and shame that are stopping you from realizing that path to success.

TO DO

• Know that you deserve success and make a commitment to claiming success by taking action.
• Make a decision to stop being ruled by guilt and shame. Root out the source. It goes deep.
• Examine where this might not feel right inside of you. Tell that part of you that it is time to leave.
• Tell yourself each day 'I deserve success'

There are only two true emotions in the world, Love and Fear. These are innate emotions, actions, and reactions that are all-consuming and difficult to deny. Both can send you into a real tizzy if you’re not expecting them. For the spiritually awakened, fear can seem like a hangover from another time, a version of you that is out of alignment. Let me explain where fear fits into the mind-body-soul connection.

Love is the expression of our soul, while fear is the expression of our humanity. Fear can help keep us alive while love keeps us eternal. Our mind’s nature is simply to think. It thinks based on whatever thoughts we push to it. We can send it fear or love, and let’s face it, life is complex so it's generally a combination of both.

You've now named the deep source of your fear and identified where it shows up. You know that fear is a normal response but that there is something else in you that wants to rise up and that is love. And I want to remind you that you can tap into that any time you want.

Remember that fear is a protective response that wants to help you and keep you safe. You get to decide if you're going to live a safe life or an amazing life of joy, adventure, love, success, personal growth and fulfilling your soul's purpose.



We are fortunate to live in a time where you can’t die from rejection and you won’t be outcast for being yourself once you’re around the right people. Your success can be your greatest source of joy and not a burden.

You are enough. Everything is available to you. You are fundamentally magnificent, and your flaws make you human and loveable.

You can't die from fear, but you can die without achieving your full potential and your soul’s purpose. You can die with all of your dreams living inside and stories about "if only" and "what if"...

Your dreams and goals are scary. If they’re not then they are not big enough. They won’t be any less scary tomorrow.

If you're ready to let go of your fears and whatever holds you, I can help. If you are ready to courageously live into your soul’s purpose, I can help cut the ties of your past. If you are ready for inner peace and outer prosperity, I can help you release all the old BS, baggage and limitations that are stopping you from being who you are supposed to be.